Good morning!
The sun shines through the wooden boards on the windows and torn curtains. It's another day in the apocalypse. Your room is grey, with cracked wallpaper and a concrete floor. Your shelves on the walls are stocked with rations. You have a shotgun resting by the door and your dog, Archie is wagging his tail at you.
[[Examine shelves]]
[[Pet Archie]]
[[Examine shotgun]] You have many cans of soup, beans, and other unappealing foods. Underneath these shelves are two gallons of water. You check your personal items shelf and see that you're out of toilet paper. Unacceptable. You were supposed to ration it out, but in your defense, there was something very wrong with that canned chili you ate last night. I guess you'll have to go forage and get some more.
[[I don't need toilet paper that bad, I can live without it]]
[[Leave bunker]]Your barrel is clean and you have 3 shots left.
[[Pet Archie]]
[[Examine shelves]]You pack your shotgun, a water bottle, and a can of beans in your backpack. You and Archie leave the bunker. The air smells acrid and stale. It's been weeks since you've left the bunker, but the smell of old farts of the outside still hasn't gone away. There's a city to the right and a forest to the left. Where do you go?
[[Explore the forest]]
[[Explore the city]]I'm not really sure how you're expecting to find toilet paper in the forest, but this is probably the safer option. Zombies are rampant in the cities.
It's been awhile since you've been on a nature walk, but you can tell there's something not right here. You hear no birds chirping, no animals at all, actually. The world is eerily silent.
[[Take a rest]]
[[Keep going]]Good choice. You're more likely to find toilet paper here, in a place where humans once were. Though, there is the matter of the walking dead to consider. You'd better be careful.
Inside the city, tall skyscrapers tower over you on either side. The sun's glare off the shiny buildings is distracting. You wish you had sunglasses.
Archie trots alongside you, panting happily.
The streets are quiet now, but you know if anybody were to make any sort of noise, they would be swarming with zombies in a second.
[[Go inside a building]]
[[Walk down the street]]Geez, you have to sit down already? I hope you don't run into a zombie or anything else that might try to kill you. You won't have the endurance to keep running!
You sit down in a clearing with Archie and pet him. He wags his tail.
This is such a nice spot.
[[Keep going]]
[[Rest for a little longer]]You trek farther and farther into the forest. It gets darker and darker the further you go. Odd, it's supposed to be early morning.
You suddenly hear a screeching noise. Looking up, you see the sun barely shining through a thick murder of crows sitting in the trees. However, these are no ordinary crows. They're three times the size of a normal crow, with red beady eyes. One opens its beak and you can see a row of razor-sharp teeth. These are no ordinary crows, and they're staring at you intently.
What do you do?
[[Freeze]]
[[Run]]
[[Aim your shotgun at the murder and shoot]]The sun shines on your face. You're kind of hungry, so you crack open the can of beans and have a snack. After you split the beans with Archie, you give him a belly rub. You feel warm and content. For the first time since the end of times, you are relaxed and... happy.
You slip into sleep.
You awake to find your dog chewing on a comically large bone at the side of the clearing. You look around and find that your bag of supplies is gone. Luckily, since you were spooning your shotgun, you still have that. Damn bandits!
[[Search for revenge]]You and Archie run back the way you came, tearing through the underbrush with the raucous calls of the crows coming in behind you. Unfortunately, the crows are in their element, weaving through the branches effortlessly despite their large size, while every bush and bramble manages to slow you down. You feel a sharp pinch in your behind, making you leap forward.
Somehow, you manage to get out of the forest. With the murder on your heels, you run to your bunker and slam the door shut. You can hear thunks against the door as the murder flies into it. Archie won't stop growling at the door.
Minutes pass. You hear no more thunks from outside, but Archie is still growling.
"What's wrong, boy?" you ask. He barks at you. You realize, as the panic and adrenaline wears off, that you can still feel a sharp pain in your buttocks. You turn around in the mirror and see that a small crow has its teeth sunken in your ass.
[[Try to yank the crow off you]]
[[Laugh at the absurdity of your situation]]You freeze, hoping that the murder will forget that you're there if you just don't move. Unfortunately, Archie does not follow this train of thought. He starts barking at the crows. The biggest, meanest-looking crow flies down, picks up Archie in its claws, and begins to fly away.
"No!" you scream, but it is too late. The murder flies at you, each crow eager to get a piece of tasty human as their lunch.
You are dead.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]You point the gun up at the crows and pull the trigger. The gunshot rings in your ears and you feel the kick of the stock hit your shoulder. It hurts.
You hear the crows cawing angrily. Something falls from the sky. The murder, frightened by the shot, takes flight, leaving the tree branches bare and white as bones. The forest floods with light.
Archie walks over and sniffs the thing that had fallen from the sky. Somehow, a miracle happened and you managed to hit one of the crows with a wildly-aimed shot. You're not sure if this thing is safe to eat or not, but it would be nice to have some fresh meat.
[[Yum! Dinner!]]
[[Better safe than sorry...]]"Come on, Archie," you snap at your dog. Some guard dog he was. One bone and that was all it took to let bandits take your stuff.
I think your anger at Archie is misplaced. You were the one who fell asleep, after all.
His ears drooping, he follows you as you examine footprints leading away from the clearing.
[[Follow footsteps]]Here you are, back at your bunker. You still don't have toilet paper. The sun hasn't set yet. There might be enough time to search the city.
[[Explore the city]]
[[Give Up]]Gingerly, you reach around behind you and pat the crow's feathers. They're very soft. Using the mirror as a guide, you pull at the crow's beak.
Yowch! You need to get that crow to let go of your ass by its own free will, unless you want to lose a buttcheek.
[[Be nice]]
[[To hell with it, I'll lose a buttcheek]]Really? Are you sure? Remember what happened last night. What happens if you have an emergency like that again?
[[You're right, I need toilet paper]]You put the crow in your bag, proud of your kill. You triumphantly march through the woods. You did it. You aren't eating sad beans or soup or whatever else is in those disgusting cans tonight. You are eating like a king.
When you reach the bunker, you pluck the feathers from the carcass, cut it open and feed the offal to Archie. You slow-roast it over the fire and when it starts to smell appetizing, you eat it.
By the time all this preperation, cooking, and eating is over, the sun is setting in the west. As you and Archie watch the sun set, you realize you have completely forgotten to find toilet paper!
Oh well. Hopefully the meat you ate won't give you the runs. Then, you'd really be eating crow.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]Reluctantly, you leave the crow carcass where it fell. As you keep wandering through the forest, you wonder if it would have tasted like chicken.
[[Keep exploring]]
[[Go back to the bunker]]Good. I'm glad you came to your senses.
[[Leave bunker]]You follow the strange footprints out of the clearing and enter the forest. Countless branches whip at your face and some leave their mark, though, you can't really see yourself.
Archie is whining with his tail between his legs. Whatever this is, he doesn't like it.
The trail is getting fainter and fainter.
[[Keep tracking the prints]]You scratch Archie behind the ears. He wags his tail happily and licks your face. What a good dog.
[[Examine shelves]]
[[Examine shotgun]]You wander about aimlessly in the woods, desperately trying to find something that could lead to toilet paper. You knew you should have checked the city. Even though it was swarming with zombies and whatever survivors were left had probably snatched any leftover supplies... How did you ever expect to find toilet paper in the forest? I mean, seriously. Did you see those crows? Nobody in their right mind ever goes in the forest.
Anyways, you're still wandering until you realize the sun is setting. You have no hope of finding your way home in the dark. You look around, struggling to find some landmarks in order to find your way home. Nothing looks familiar.
"Archie?" you ask. The dog whimpers.
The two of you decide to set up camp for the night. You eat your can of beans and build a tarp to cover you and your dog and fall asleep.
Unfortunately for you, crows are very smart creatures. They have amazing memories and can remember who does them wrong. They come in the dark of the night. The last thing you remember is a high-pitched caw and the glint of the moonlight off of their vicous teeth.
In the morning, there is no evidence that you ever entered the woods at all.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]"What's the use?" you cry mournfully. "There's no way I will be able to find toilet paper in this god-forsaken wasteland!"
You throw yourself onto the bed and cry like a teenage girl who was just dumped by her boyfriend in the cafeteria at school. Archie, the sweet, loveable dog that he is, licks away your tears.
At least you have Archie.
And, in an emergency, there are always the ferns outside.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]The prints eventually lead you to a cabin in the woods. It looks pretty old. There is a stout tree growing next to it, looking like it could provide an entrance.
Success! This must be where the bandits are. You knew your perseverance would eventually pay off.
Now, how will you go about getting your stuff back?
[[Knock on the door and see if someone answers]]
[[Burst in, guns a-blazin']]You and Archie walk up to the door of the cabin and knock three times. You hear big, heavy footsteps coming to the door. When the door opens, a large man stands in the doorway.
"What do you want?" he asks.
[[You stole my stuff!]]
[[Sorry to bother you, sir...]]Being holed up in a bunker has really taken a toll on your manners.
You kick down the door and wield your shotgun. You send a bullet into the ceiling, yelling, "YA'LL STOLE SOMETHING FROM ME, AND I WANT IT BACK!"
You hear screaming. A family who had been peacably playing cards on the kitchen are all now scrambling for their guns. You pump your shotgun, putting your second bullet into the chamber, but you aren't fast enough. A tiny blonde five-year-old girl puts a bullet between your eyes.
That's what you get for being so rude.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]You can't believe it. There is a crow biting your ass. You are literally being bitten in the ass by a crow.
[[Keep laughing]]
[[Try to yank the crow off you]]You imagine telling your old college buddies about a crow biting you in the ass over a cold beer. Oh, how they would laugh with you.
Then you remember they're all dead.
You stop laughing.
Your ass is starting to throb.
[[Try to yank the crow off you]]You enter a formidable-looking skyscraper as quietly as you can. Inside, the lobby is dank, dusty, and filled with debris, a far cry from its former self.
The most obvious place to search is a bathroom, but you have no idea where it could be, and you can hear zombies moaning down the halls. The left one is barricaded, so you have no choice but to go with the right, if you do decide to investigate this death trap.
[[Walk down the street]]
[[Keep your shotgun ready]]You gently stroke the crow's feathers. They're very soft. Strong. Durable.
"Uh, hey, um, buddy," you start. "Do you think you could maybe let go? I'll give you some beans if you do."
You can feel the crow's jaw start to loosen.
"I won't even give you the crappy ones," you say. "I'll give you the good ones. The ones that are only six months past the expiration date."
The crow releases your ass and flies to your bed. It cocks its head at you.
You sigh. It's time to give up your end of the bargain. You open up a can of white lima beans and place it in front of the crow. As it eats, you clean up the teethmarks with the hydrogen peroxide on your shelf. Archie whines. He's jealous.
"Don't get any ideas," you tell him.
Once the crow is finished, it sits on your pillow and falls asleep. Aww. It's almost... cute.
A small down feather falls from the crow's body. Without waking it, you pick it up and run your hands along it. It's so soft. Strong. Durable.
You get an idea.
Over days, turning into weeks, you and the crow become friends. You feed it beans, and it, in return, does not eat you. When the crow loses feathers, you keep them and store them on your personal items shelf.
You name the crow TP.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]Using all of your strength, you put your hands around the crow's throat and yank it out. What a badass.
Unfortunately, your badassery comes at a price. You don't have enough hydrogen peroxide to clean the enormous new hole in your ass, and you die slowly of an extremely painful infection.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]"Sorry to bother you, sir, but I'm missing my bag and I was wondering if you've seen it anywhere."
"D'you mean this?" he said, holding up your brown backpack.
"Yes, that's mine, if you could please--"
"Finders keepers!" the man chuckles and opens the bag, going through your stuff right in front of you. He frowns.
"This is all you got? Some water and an empty bean can?"
"Yes, sir."
"Oh, you poor thing." He looks at you with sympathy. "Here, take your stuff back. Why don't you come inside? My wife's cooking a big steak for dinner."
Food does sound good, but on the other hand, it could be a trap. Maybe it's best if you take your supplies and go.
[[Go back to the bunker]]
[[Stay for dinner]]"You stole my stuff! Give it back!" You yell at the man. Archie senses your distress and growls at the man.
"Whoa," he says, holding up his hands. "I think 'stole' is a pretty harsh term--"
"JUST GIVE ME MY STUFF BACK!" You point your shotgun at the man.
"Fine, fine! This apocalypse makes folks so snippy," he said and tosses the bag to you. "Here. Wasn't anything good in there anyways."
He slams the door in your face.
Victory.
[[Go back to the bunker]]The big man, whose name you learn is David, and his family are lovely people. You play a few rounds of Uno with him and his wife and kids. It reminds you of a time before the apocalypse with your own family.
Dinner is delicious. It is, indeed, a steak. You don't know what animal it came from, and it's probably better not to ask.
After dinner, you shoulder your backpack and whistle to Archie. Reluctantly, he gets up off the floor and walks to your side.
"Is there anything you'd like to take with you back to your bunker?" David asks.
You're not sure you can ask anything more of these people who have shown you more kindness than you thought existed in the post-apocalyptic world, but just as you're about to say "no," your stomach lets out a loud gurgle.
"D-do you have any toilet paper?" you ask David. He winks, goes into the bathroom, and tosses you a roll.
"Gotcha covered."
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]You continue further down the street, Archie walking next to you at your side. The concrete jungle is tall and the heat is oppressive. You're sweating through your clothes. You walk quietly past buildings and shambling zombies and buildings, each one looking too run-down and sketchy to chance a peek inside.
You're not sure how long you've been walking, but it's been too long. You need to stop. Or you can keep going, really, it's up to you. Maybe there's toilet paper somewhere on the streets.
[[Rest]]
[[Keep walking]]You whisper at Archie to stay at the entrance of the building, then hold the shotgun in front of you defensively and walk down the right hall. You see a group of zombies pounding at the door at the end of the hall. Somebody's screaming on the other side. Whoever that person is, they've created a clear path for you to the restroom, but they probably could really use your help.
[[Help the screamer]]
[[Take a free pass to the bathroom]]You and Archie sit down on the sidewalk and have some water.
"Aaaah," you say loudly in relief, and instantly regret it. With the zombie's batlike hearing, they'll be on you shortly. You can hear them moaning in the alleys nearby, and there's already a zombie across the street shambling towards you.
[[Run back the way you came]]
[[Stand and fight]]Ignoring your body's thirst and aching muscles, you press on. Archie keeps looking at you, giving you worrying looks, if a dog can look worried.
You suddenly trip over a rock that came out of nowhere and fall to the ground. Archie whines, licking your face and fingers in order to try to help you get back up, but you're just so tired. Surely it wouldn't hurt to just close your eyes for a bit...
When you wake up, the first thing you smell is the rotten stink of the undead. You can hear them shambling all around you. Your backpack is still on you and your shotgun is underneath you. Luckily, by lying so still, you havent managed to attract the zombies' attention yet.
[[Get up]]You and Archie run so far and so fast you leave the zombies in the dust. In fact, you're back at the bunker. Wow, were you a track star before the apocalypse??
You still have no toilet paper.
The sun hasn't set yet. There may be some time to check out the forest.
[[Explore the forest]]
[[Give Up]]Are you kidding me? You have three shots in your shotgun, buddy. That's not enough to get you out alive.
Oh well. It's too late now, they're coming from all sides. You fire off a shot in the face of a puke-green zombie, then another bloated purple one. Archie is barking, growling, snapping at the undead. He yelps as the zombies trample him underfoot, all trying to get at you. You fire your last shot helplessly into the horde, but it's no use. There's just too many.
You are eaten alive.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]Okay, so you're going to do the noble thing and help a fellow person in need. How are you going to do this, exactly? The only way you will be able to get to whoever is on the other side of the door is through the door that has a horde of zombies clawing at it.
[[Guns ablazin']]
[[Try to herd the zombies into the bathroom]]
[[Squeeze through, eyes closed, and hope for the best]]Hey, you're not one to pass up a zombie-free path to the bathroom. Besides, that person's probably as good as dead, anyway.
You slowly open the door go inside. There are three green stalls and a bloodstained sink. You peek under the bottom of the stalls. There middle stall has a pair of feet in it. It's unclear whether they're zombie feet or human feet, but you don't hear any moaning.
[[Check the nearest stall]]
[[Check the middle stall]]
[[Check the farthest stall]]You open the nearest stall to you. The toilet is covered in smelly sticky green goo. You don't want to know what kind of creature produced that.
You hold your nose and check the toilet paper holder. Unfortunately, it's locked. You yank at the holder, agitating your neighbor in the stall next to you. Whoever-- or whatever it is-- groans in protest.
You look around, searching for something to pry it open. You notice a small glint in the toilet amid the green. Maybe it's a key.
[[Dive in to get the key]]
[[Check the middle stall]]
[[Check the farthest stall]]
[[Leave the bathroom]]It's locked.
You knock a couple times. The person on the other side groans inhumanely.
Probably a zombie. Though, how a zombie managed to lock itself in a bathroom stall, you don't know.
[[Crawl underneath the stall]]
[[Check the nearest stall]]
[[Check the farthest stall]]
[[Leave the bathroom]]This stall has blood splattered all across the wall. The toilet is, however, clean. You can't remember the last time you saw a clean toilet.
You check the toilet paper holder. There is naught but an empty roll.
You sigh. You guess that would have been too easy.
[[Check the nearest stall]]
[[Check the middle stall]]
[[Leave the bathroom]]Dude. Are you kidding? That stuff smells rancid. You have no idea what it even is. You'll probably catch some horrible disease if you get that stuff on you. Maybe it's acid. Maybe it'll burn you alive.
I'm going to give you one more chance. Are you sure you want to do this?
[[I'm committed]]
[[Check the middle stall]]
[[Check the farthest stall]]
[[Leave the bathroom]] You're nasty.
You hold your breath and plunge your hand in the toilet bowl, aiming for the glint. The goo has a thick, glue-like consistency. It tingles where it touches your skin. You force down the urge to vomit.
You fish around for a good thirty seconds before you get a good hold on it and pull it out of the toilet. It is, indeed, a key. Whether it unlocks the toilet paper holder or not is another matter.
You try to put the key in the lock. Success! You turn the key and the holder swings open.
It's empty.
You feel like crying.
You rush to the sink and, using your bottled water, clean your hand.
[[Check the middle stall]]
[[Check the farthest stall]]
[[Leave the bathroom]]You leave the bathroom.
You don't want to stick around the building, in an enclosed space and let the zombies on the other side of the hall come find you, so you pick up Archie and go outside to the street.
[[Walk down the street]]You get on your hands and knees and peek up underneath the door.
It's not a zombie. It's a brown-haired woman sitting on a toilet.
"What the hell?!" she screams and pulls out her handgun. You just barely manage to get out of the way as the gunshot rings and a steaming bullet hits the floor.
"S-sorry!" you yell. You need some eye bleach.
"What does someone need to do to get some goddamn privacy! Even in the middle of the apocalypse someone still wants to see you shit!"
"I thought you were a zombie!"
"Yeah, yeah, that's what they all say!"
[[Leave the bathroom]]
[[Try to convince her you're not a pervert]]"Oh my God, I swear to God I'm not a pervert. I was just looking for toilet paper. I thought a zombie was in that stall and so I was going to take care of it," you say.
"Right. Toilet paper. Likely story." She doesn't believe you. Oh well.
"Do you... happen to have any toilet paper in there, by any chance?" you ask, as a last resort.
"Will you go away if I give you some?
"Yes, oh God yes."
You can hear her pulling the toilet paper out from the toilet paper holder. She tosses a wad over the door, and you catch it before it can hit the nasty floor. It's not much, but as long as you don't have any more chili, maybe it'll last you awhile.
"Thank you," you say to her, sincerely, as you put it in your bag.
"Whatever, creep."
You have toilet paper. You have won.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]You try to get up slowly in a zombie-like manner, but either your movements are too fluid and alive or you make too much noise, because you attract the attention of three zombies. As they start shambling over to you, you hold up your shotgun.
[[Shoot them]]
[[Wait for them to come, then hit them over the head with it]]You hit all three zombies with all three of your shots. Nice shooting.
Unfortunately, the noise attracts many more zombies, and without any bullets left you are defenseless.
You are eaten alive.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]You silently club each zombie over the head as it comes to you, squishing their brains and not attracting the attention of any other nearby zombies.
You look around the area. Archie is nowhere to be seen. You don't dare call for him, for fear that you'll attract more.
You wipe the zombie's blood on your face and arms, to appear more inconspicious to the hordes as you shuffle around, searching for your dog. You search for hours, using low, quiet whistling sounds to try to coax him out into the open.
If only you had taken care of yourself, then maybe you wouldn't have collapsed and lost your only companion in this hellish landscape. As the sun sets, you give up and head back to your bunker. There's no way you will be able to find Archie in the dark.
You hope every morning that you will wake up to hear him scratching at the door. You go back to the city day after day, desperately trying to find your dog, but in vain. You never see him again, and, over time, you eventually go insane without Archie to keep you company.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]You decide to go full Rambo, pump your shotgun, and shoot at the zombies in front of the door.
You only had three shots, buddy. You don't have enough ammo to kill all of them.
As the zombies engulf you in their rotting, dead, stinky embrace, your last hope is that you somehow helped the poor screaming person on the other side of that door.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]Are you sure about this? Sure, maybe you'll save a life, but maybe there's toilet paper in that bathroom, and if you manage to get all the zombies in there, good luck going back in there to get some. You may never have a clean ass again if you decide to save this person who you don't even know.
[[I'm a hero!]]
[[Take a free pass to the bathroom]]I'm honestly not sure how you survived this long.
You run headlong into the horde of zombies, wildly kicking and scratching your way, hoping that a path will open up.
It doesn't.
A zombie bites you on the shoulder, then the neck, and your leg.
You make a delicious meal.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]Alright, suit yourself.
You prop open the bathroom door using your can of beans, pump your shotgun, and fire a shot into the bathroom wall. Someone, a woman, inside the one of the stalls screams in surprise.
Oh, crap.
Well, it's too late now. You hide behind the wall as you watch the zombies shamble into the bathroom, one by one.
As you remove the can of beans and let the bathroom door swing closed, you try to rationalize your decision. You were only trying to save someone, and it was a pure accident that somebody else happened to be in the bathroom. It was an accident.
Well, now that you've gone so far as manslaughter, you might as well help whoever is on the other side of the door. You place an ear to it. They're no longer screaming, but weeping. Quietly, so as to not be heard over the woman's screams, you pull at the door. It opens without hesitation. Stupid zombies, don't they know you can't push a door that's meant to be pulled?
You are in what used to be an office. There's a dirty mattress in the corner in front of a desk with a large stash of toilet paper on top. The remains of a silver chandelier lay scattered on the floor. In the middle of the floor is a pair of kids, both with brown hair and big brown eyes, between the ages of 7 and 10. The girl has her younger brother in her lap, trying to calm him as he sobs over a large bleeding cut in his palm.
She looks up at you with wide, waifish eyes.
"Who are you? Where's Mommy?" she asks.
Uh-oh.
[[Tell her Mommy sent you]]
[[Take the toilet paper and run]]It's your fault these kids are alone now. You have to take responsibility for your actions.
You kneel down on the floor to get on eye level with the kids.
"Your mommy sent me to come get you. It's not safe here anymore, didn't you hear the zombies out there? I need to take you somewhere safe. She'll meet us there when she's ready," you say, fully aware that every word out of your mouth sounds like a pedophile.
"Why should we trust you?" the girl asks, holding her brother close. "You're a stranger."
You tell the kids your name, so that you're no longer strangers. "I also have a dog," you add, thinking it will help, but it makes you feel more like a pedophile. As if you didn't feel awful enough for accidentally killing their mother.
"A dog?!" the boy says, distracted from his still-bleeding palm. "I want to see your dog!"
Eventually, the girl gives in, reluctantly. You use their gauze to bandage the boy's wound, then help the kids pack up their supplies, including the toilet paper. As you pass the bathroom, you feel nauseous. The boy holds your hand, sensing your discomfort.
When the kids meet Archie, they fall in love with him, and he with them. You're a little jealous. On the way to the bunker, you learn that their names are Lillie and Mason.
Days pass. Lillie and Mason ask when their mother will come to the bunker. You admit you don't know.
Weeks pass. Mason has stopped asking, but Lillie hasn't. She misses her mother. You try to console her, but your efforts are futile.
Months pass. You teach the kids how to forage, shoot a rifle, and other essential tasks that they need to survive. Lillie has stopped asking where their mother is.
Years pass. You grow to love these kids, and raise them as your own. You, Lillie, Mason, and Archie are one big, happy, post-apocalyptic family.
You suspect that Lillie knows the truth about what happened that day, but Mason shows no sign of any deeper knowledge about his mother or that day you ran into them.
You don't think you could bear to tell them.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]You're despicable.
You lunge forward past the kids and snatch up as many rolls of paper as your arms can carry, then run out the door. Whistling to Archie, he follows you on your heels as you run back towards the bunker.
I wish I could say the zombies got out of the bathroom somehow and ate you alive for leaving those poor little kids alone, defenseless, and with no mother, but you make it back to your bunker unscathed. You put the three toilet paper rolls on your personal shelf, knowing that you'll have enough to last you multiple canned chili incidents if need be.
Well, congratulations, I guess. You got your toilet paper. I don't know how you'll be able to live with yourself, but you have toilet paper.
I hope it was worth it.
[[Try again? ->Good Morning ]]